A suicidal love
by FrancaisSnape
Summary: Graces thoughts after the Doctor leaves. Yes one of my stories actually has a plot when i start it. Doctor/Grace pairing.
1. Suicide

A/N: I am going to write the sappiest thing you ever read for this song that I slightly changed to fit Doctor Who. Obviously this is going to be AU..a definite AU..so don't give me grief about it.  
  
There's a calm surrender to the vortex's way  
  
When the heat of a rolling time can be turned away  
  
An enchanted matrix, and it tells things true  
  
It's enough for this restless time-lord just to be with you  
  
And can you feel the mass of stars  
  
It is where we are  
  
It's enough for this wide-eyed time-lord That we got this far  
  
And can you feel the rush of time  
  
How it's laid to rest  
  
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds  
  
Believe the very best  
  
There's a time for everyone if they only learn  
  
That the twisting kaleidoscope lets our time-lines turn  
  
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild black storms  
  
When the hearts of this star-crossed voyager beat in time with yours  
  
((^^%%$$##@@!!  
  
Grace sat in her chaise lounge chair with only one intent for the rest of that night; sit here and think about the things that had just occurred in her life. No, not in her life just this one night, this one blissful night. She had met him and he had taken her places that she had never dreamed could ever exist; and if even possible he had done it without even taking her out of California. True they had travel a day through time but that had meant nothing compared to the time they had shared when he had departed. She held his cool hands and kissed him. She closed her eyes to remember how it had felt to have those lips against hers. Never before had she fallen so quickly for any man and she was sure that he had not hypnotized her but wanted to touch him hug him and never let go. She opened her eyes and came back to the realization that he was no longer here. He had only been gone twenty minutes but she missed him already. She knew she could never had gone with him and there was just no way around it. She would feel terrible going off into time and space and leaving her practice here, on earth. True enough she could take off and come back with a span of thirty minutes but she better in her heart.  
  
She felt the spots on her arms were his arms had met her when she had woken from...well she couldn't really remember, all she could really remember was that she had woken in the TARDIS with the Doctor staring down at her, with such joy in his eyes, and she didn't remember what happened. It was all just a blur.  
  
She laid down side ways and covered her face with the extra pillow, and cried into it. Why had she done this? She missed him so much, and now she would never see him again. Those wonderful blue eyes and his caring nature. How he had held her and kissed her she had never had that with any other man. She wasn't the type of person who wanted a really physical relation ship and she felt that neither did he. All he wanted was to know that some one loved him and was willing to give their life for him, and she would have done that. She would have given her life for him. All her life love was just a myth but when you fall head into it, it hurts and that is what she felt now. She wanted him so badly, and now she would never have him. He would have been the first boyfriend she had had who actually loved opera who she could talk about it with. She had just given up so much.  
  
She wanted to scream and scream, but her sobbing was preventing her to do this. She kept running out of breath and having to suck it in. The pillow was wet with all of the tears she had cried and she knew that she had only been here for a little while. The one thing in her life that had truly made her forget all of her troubles, even though he had invited new ones, and she let him slip away. She would always think of him and how he had saved her.  
  
She sat up and let her tears subside. She knew how to deal with this now. It was so simple. She smiled at the thought of never having to be with out him again. She stood and walked to her kitchen taking with her the pillow. She was tired and getting up the steps was a challenge, it should have been easier since she didn't have her shoes on but for some reason that didn't make a difference. On the last step she tripped and her foot landed on the corner of the step and she heard the distinct crack of a break in the bone. She felt the pain but she didn't make a sound, neither did she stop her pursuit of the sink; while she walked she felt the bone slide in her foot making the pain even worse but she didn't care.  
  
She washed out the sink and put the pillow in it and ran water over it. Now that that was done she sat down and waited the short while for the sink to fill. Looking down at the bottom of the sink she felt along the cabinets for the medicine that she took to help her sleep on those really long nights, and filled a class with the cold water from the faucet, then she shut the faucet off.  
  
She dumped some of the pills and her mouth and chanced them with water, then she put ten more in her mouth and downed those too, then she finished the bottle off and with it the water. A quick and painless way to never be without him again. Standing there waiting for the pills to take effect, the place got blurry, and then it went black.  
  
A/N: Ah yes, the poor child commits suicide. Please review. 


	2. Revival

A/N: this is a poem of my own devising, i couldn't find any songs or poems or anything so I made my own. Tell me if you like it. I think this might shock some people. But I hope not too much. Its all Drox's fault blame her for me writing another chapter. And don't forget her accomplice Rill with a view. Its all their fault I tell you.  
  
What a night to fall in love  
  
To change my heart  
  
To fly above  
  
What a night to dream of change  
  
To be with you  
  
It feels so strange  
  
I've no rights to you  
  
You see within  
  
Our love will see us though  
  
___________________  
  
A Twist of Fate  
  
___________________  
  
Do people have dreams when they die? Is that what they say is the great light at the end of life? Is it the new beginning, or a sign of hope?  
  
This was always something Grace had always thought about when the patients she had worked on died. Are they scared? She always wanted to know. Some part of her always hoped that when people died angels comforted them. She never had been a religious person but hopes are for all and the thought of angels who can comfort is far beyond religion. Far surpassing it, it leads us into a realm of calm and clarity, but unfortunately, there were some who were just doomed to never be comforted. Grace felt the tears roll down her cheek at the realization that she couldn't see her angel and no light was shining in her horizon. Nothing to comfort her, nothing that cared. She felt like a torn soul and now she would feel this way forever.  
  
Then she heard the voice speaking to her from far away and she knew she knew who it was but she could not place it. It came further and further and with it came a shadowy figure and she wanted to feel afraid of it but she could not. That's what people did when they were saw things they didn't know right, then she rationed it out. Maybe she did know what it was. She waited till it was close enough to her for her to see it.  
  
She wished it to be something recognizable but could the dead wish? It spoke to her again, and as if death had responded to her thoughts, she recognized the voice. She knew who it was but when she had first heard it, it had been menacing and loathsome, but now the voice was more human, almost caring. The figure grew to a solid form and as it stepped closer to her she him clear and plain. It was the Master. He spoke to her.  
  
"Follow me Grace." He took her hand and led her from the darkness. After walking for what seemed like an eternity she saw a light ahead of her. Just a pinprick, but it was a light. Her light and it had been the Master that had shone the way, oddly enough. " Do not be afraid of what is going to happen to you next Grace." He pulled her in front of him and he stared into her eyes. She didn't see any hatred in those eyes, she didn't see anything. She did see beautiful chocolate eyes. Maybe he was her angel. 'Don't be stupid, Grace.' She chided herself. 'he just tried to kill you not but hours ago.' But he looked into her eyes with such care.  
  
He pulled her to him and hugged an arm around her gently lifting her chin with the other and kissed her softly never breaking his gaze. She had to break it. The kiss was too sweet to look at him and he felt in her heart that he wouldn't hurt her here. She felt her feet being lifted from the floor. She tried to turn away and look but he held her fast wrapping his other arm around her, and now she felt nothing. When she felt him release her from him grip she felt warm and confused. She didn't want to open her eyes but out of curiosity she did and what she found she just could truly not believe. She was back in her home and the Master was sitting on the couch beside her, staring down at her with a stoic face. She suddenly felt like a child. She looked away but he took her face in one of his hands and held it fast.  
  
" I may merely be a time-lord, Miss."  
  
" Doctor,"  
  
" Doctor. Holloway, but if I am correct in assuming that you just moments ago wanted to hold back death and now I find you here trying to kill your self, may I ask why. Or would I be intruding to much." She closed her eyes to get away from his eyes and he let go of her face.  
  
"Fine." he stood and she heard him walk to her kitchen and run some water from the sink. He walked back to her. " Here drink this." She took the glass and just looked at it. Maybe she did it to keep from looking at him. " I didn't put anything in it." he said with great sarcasm. She winced at his voice and drank some of the water.  
  
Silence was the only thing either of them could hear for the next few moments and it was a terrible silence. He just stood and tried her best to make believe he wasn't there. He was such a paradox. First he had tried to kill her and now he had saved her. She drank until the glass was empty and he was right it had made her feel better. " Thank you." She said rather softly and awkwardly. He didn't say anything he just took the glass and set it on her table. She felt so confused and she didn't know what to do. Although a lot of frustration was gone it still made her muscles feel tight and she hurt. A tear slipped from her eye and she wiped the tear away.  
  
"Why are you crying, Doctor. Holloway." She looked at him. He just had a tone in his voice that was so human. As another tear fell down he came to her and wiped it away with his thumb.  
  
She covered her face in her hands. " I am so tired, and frustrated and I don't know how to handle it. It too much."  
  
" Well the stresses of life for a human, especially a doctor, I guesse could be stressful." He said in his uniquely clever voice that made you want to just slap him. " But I don't understand what you got all worked up about."  
  
" You don't understand" she said behind racked sobs and spastic coughing. " You never will, you will always be a cold hearted creature. You don't care about anyone but yourself."  
  
He patiently waited until her sobs resided and she spoke again. " I am sorry that was uncalled for." He raised his eyebrows and inwardly chuckled. Had she just apologized to him?  
  
" No Doctor Hollowway you are quite right I am a cold hearted bastard who doesn't care for anyone but himself. I just got curious." He didn't look at her when he said this but he looked away.  
  
" Curious?" she asked in a low tone.  
  
" You intrigue me Doctor Holloway. Since the first time I saw you through the Doctors eyes, you intrigued me and I do think that I owe me survival to you." Now he looked into her eyes. " Yes the same blue eyes the Doctor looked into." He knelt by the couch to get closer to her and got as close to her face as the Doctor had gotten that night. He kissed her and she automatically leanted back against the couch backing to get away from him. She stared at him with a questioning look. 


End file.
